"Whatd'ya mean you forgot the gaff tape? I thought you were bringing it?" "No way, you said you were bringing it?" "Yeah, but Wal-Mart was outta the stuff!" "Oops."

Is your trip to a remote church meeting often a sortie of "Oops, I forgot the batteries" quotes? Then listen up. A little planning will go a long, long way toward preventing chaos. I didn't say the remote job would get any easier. Just that you'll still have some brain power not to mention spirituality left in you when things do start to get lively.

Who's On First

The first thing to do is to think the event through slowly and carefully. Get an official list of instruments and vocals that are planned for the event. Find out even which songs are planned, because that will give you a better idea of what to expect. The more information you can get, the better off you'll be.

Next, talk through the staging arrangements. How people prefer to be arranged is obviously important to you, and if you get this information before you even head for the field, you may be able to make certain staging adjustments that will make your job more efficient and/or allow you to achieve a better sound as a result.

Are there several different guest musical groups performing, or is it just your standard praise and worship team? Several groups should send up a warning flag. First it means that, if you're going to do your job right, you need contact names and phone numbers. Someone is going to have to call a spokesperson for each and every group to determine what their needs are going to be, what instrumentation they plan to bring, how many vocals, what style of music it will be, plus special requirements like cassette accompaniment sound tracks, compact disc accompaniment tracks, more synthesizers than you can shake a stick at, and so on. Speaking of instruments, if several groups will perform, find out if drums will be used; if so, will all the drummers agree to work with the same kit? That would save your crew a great deal of time, and most pros will agree to this type of compromise. To protect the kit itself, consider letting each drummer substitute their own snare drum. They'll prefer the sound of their own snare, and if the snare head happens to break, it will be their own. What you want to avoid is having to re-mic a drum set for each new act.

Do they have their own sound man and technical crew? Is their own sound man going to mix their set? What is your policy about that - do you want someone mixing on your gear? There's little a guest mixer can do to hurt your gear, except blow up a couple of speakers; the concern is for his quality and capability to mix. If he'll do a better job than you or your crew can, then let him at it. If his mix would be musically questionable or even a bit too loud, then you might consider adopting a policy to give you a final say.

Is someone needed to solve special lighting requirements? What about AC power? If they are bringing loads of extra gear, you're going to want to plan for the extra AC power requirements, especially if you'll be using a generator for your power source.

What about if they ask to use their own mixing console? Is the resulting delay in time worth the console change? It may be if (1) you're unfamiliar with their mixing desk, and (2) you'd rather not have your hard won EQ and balance settings altered just for one set.

Do they need digital effects processors, compressors and other signal processing gear that you don't have? If they bring their own, do you have the cables required to interface them to your console? One special point to look out for in interfacing the gear is polarity! If you don't watch for it, it'll catch you every time.

As you might guess, the list of questions you should pose before the first piece of gear is packed away can seem endless. But take time to think those things through. It will be time well spent in the long run.

Pack Road Worthy Gear

One of my classmates at the University of Miami was known for making everything in "gladiator" fashion. That is to say, everything from his mic snakes to his speaker stands were built to withstand whatever punishment any engineer might throw at them. So which do you choose to pack in the truck - a condenser mic or a dynamic mic? Experience would teach you that, even if you do go ahead and take your favorite condensers mics along for the show, take some reliable old dynamics along as insurance. Sudden humidity and temperature changes can make condenser mics temperamental, not to mention the possibility of a phantom power supply failing or someone (other than you of course) forgetting to pack the batteries.

While we're at it, I should also at least remind you to be careful how you pack the gear, especially the little stuff. Make sure you know where things were packed so it won't be a treasure hunt to find a flashlight when you get there. Remember to keep mics in a dust-free environment. In other words, just use common sense. Don't drop speakers off the truck onto the ground. More than one speaker has been sent back to the re-coning shop because of the physical damage resulting from such an experience. The fact that you can repair it is one thing. The fact that you suddenly find yourself having to do the show without one of your main house speakers is quite another. Treat all your gear with the respect it deserves.

It's always a good practice to identify your equipment in some way, with anything from engraved markings to colored plastic tape. You can get shrink tubing printed with your name and address to identify cables, use personalized Velcro cable ties, and so on. Whatever method you choose, you're taking a slight risk that any guest music group that will be joining you on stage may have chosen the same color of plastic tape, for example. Just watch and plan for it.

The Checklist

Working with a checklist is the obvious key to planning for such an event. You wouldn't want to fly with me as the pilot if I didn't run through my checklist before we took off, now would you!?! I might forget something. Developing a required equipment list for your remote events is probably a better solution.

This list is just a jumping off point. Some items are obvious, others not so obvious. Just to make sure, check each item to make certain that it is in known working condition before you put it on the truck. Work with this list and develop it to support your special needs.

The Soundcheck

Scheduled soundchecks can make or break you in the field. If it's totally impossible to arrange a soundcheck, you'll still be able to pull off the show. But tell your music minister and any other supervisors that it may take you and your crew a while longer to pull the house and monitor mixes together. Request extra patience as you perform the impossible.

One step that will make your soundchecks go much more smoothly is to establish a positive relationship with guest musicians and drummers. (Just kidding about the drummer thing folks!) You're not the boss and neither are they. Someone needs to be "in charge" or the gig will fall apart, but stay away from an us-against-them adversarial stance. Love on them, become friends with them in a sincere manner, and your job just got a hundred times easier when it comes to both the soundcheck and the performance. Also remember that you might be working with them again in the future, and any friendship you can establish today will only aid you later.

Also shown here is a model "setup chart." I've been using this format since my college days, and it really serves to organize my approach to setting up for a particular group. It is also excellent at communicating my choices to my setup crew. It benefits my crew by giving them a clear and concise guide to follow. It benefits me by first reminding me what my decisions were about a particular setup requirement, and later by saving a lot of questions and interruptions of my thought process while I'm concentrating on another task (like getting the console setup for the next act). I use one sheet for each different group scheduled to perform.

Other Thoughts

If you're on a remote job, you may even be out of doors rather than at the shopping mall. If you're out in the middle of a cornfield, you won't disturb anyone but the cows. If you're anywhere within the city limits, however, you will want to watch how loud you run the system. It's very possible that you could disturb the neighbors. Many communities have noise ordinances during specific hours of the day. All you need to do is exceed the published sound pressure level on the community's SPL meter, and they have the authority to come in and pull the plug. Half of you out there are chuckling to yourselves right now, but this can be serious business. If the whole crusade with several hundred people gets shut down because you were a little fader happy, you're going to have several hundred people chasing you out of the parking lot.

Some of you may find yourselves sitting in a field staring at an gas powered electric generator one day. A couple of points to consider. First, remember to bring a long metal rod with you. Pound it deep into the ground near where the generator will be located, and then attach it via large wire to the appropriate point on the generator. This will serve as your protective ground reference point. If in fact you have never had the opportunity to work with a generator before, it is advisable that you hire the services of an experienced operator to stay with you, at least for the first day of the event, to show you how to operate it safely, to keep the thing running throughout the performance, and to show you what to do if it happens to fail.

Try to arrange for one generator to supply power for all audio and musical gear, and a separate one to power the lights. In regards to choosing an appropriate unit for your needs, simply apply Ohm's Law. Most generators are rated in KVA (kilovolt-amperes). First, check every piece of gear to determine it's greatest potential current drawing requirement, which you can approximate by simply adding up the value of the fuses on the back of each device. Multiply this value by the voltage (e.g., 115 V). Now divide that answer by 1,000 to determine the KVA rating. For the lights, simply add up the wattage rating of all the bulbs that will be supplied by that generator, and divide that answer by 1,000.

Afterwards

After the event, as you're packing things back up before that long drive back to church, you may want to go through your checklist once again. This will help you confirm that all your equipment is accounted for, and that none of your cables, mics, tools and so on got mixed in with those from another group.

I've always made it a habit to hold on to my setup sheets for several years into the future. If and when I work with a particular group again, I can dig out that old setup sheet and remind myself what special needs they had then. Most likely their needs will have changed significantly over time, but it helps me mentally prepare for the event. I can also use the space to write down names of people in the group, which of course helps tremendously to reacquaint myself with them.

Conclusion

The bottom line of this whole discussion is simply to suggest that you think things through in advance, use common sense, and plan for the inevitable. The old joke is that whatever tool you happen to leave behind, that's precisely the one tool that you'll need the most when you get there. So make room for the kitchen sink.